Doing….what I am.

You had time to moment each and every rhyme
dauntless courage and infinite desperate thoughts
you had…flourished into nothingness
like the moment I had nothing to say
but how I haven’t a clue
but I only do what I do
while I’m here….
living this life….

the (Grateful) dead.

screwing my way through the laughter and the pangs
the moments and the sane
rembrandting pathways endlessly and effortlessly
impactful
and no way to think outside of myself
and in and unto she wept.

floor(ed) in the middle of the concrete
looking back with the moment as the defeat

child erasing thoughts as if the crayon
wasn’t thick enough

I wake in the middle of the wake
he symbolizes
my outlet and my fate

choking on the fucking moment
how dare it come so soon
as if I had something else to say

look at her when she skirts the wit
and the jokes

showing the underlying blind
breaking into the wreckage
of the half-hearted and half-assed
beginning to end what I’ve come
to and have said
days and the moments
where all I could do is feel
the fire
and fret and
heed to a moment
where all she did is bled..
through bed sheets of her mind
her thoughts
and moments and past
and all that she has had
that was and was not blind(ed)

fevered reckless
of the thoughtless
and the books
of the grounded and the (Grateful)dead…

The Jekyll and the End.

this withering and unjustified scene twilights the night
like the muffins from the Hitchcock film ignites light
in the background of my mind
shadowing a nuisance
of a moment that no one understands but me
between the Jekyll and the Hyde – him
the undertaking to the road to the end.

Immortal transitioning….

being distant comes at a disadvantage of enormous suffering I never realized till now
shallow(ed) in a pavilion of lug weights of self-entitled lesser than(s) and immaculate traits
found the pangs of trying to hold on to
what was never meant to be in the first (or last) place
juggled a myriad of trials
and found the only true way
was truth in a way I never could admit
nor found a way to portray
till now…to tell…

Strong – Withheld.

kissing me for the levels and the denials – solid
featuring the distinguished metaphysical boring – solid
left withholding and before and afters – left
to the right of the second doorway featuring my new arm – right(s)

The nows and the in-betweens…..

everyone of them had something I needed at that time and that place-men(t)
I was left and right in…
lots of moments to pass and evolve during the distress of it all
long way from home if home is where I call those feelings of less thans
and heretics of imagery
they all had a strength and a special place to hold me to them
on the wall of the men I’ve left behind…
and the men that created the me in between
the distances and the fault lines escaped
some place between
me and the now and the somewhere in between…..

Till Now…..

Ways to never concede in a room full of deceit…
And never thought I’d say the things I do at times I do..
And then the fair-weathered thought flows off my shoulder
To yours
Just the boys come and go and I walk away
Just like I always do – they say….
Bet you never thought who you were dealin’
With till now…
You see me when I left you in your fevered
Embrace
I bet you thought you could tailgate my rendered
Love for you
But the truth hurts when I’m not the one that gets attached
The salvation of letting go is free(er) than the impending
Sleeping alone…that feels so free
When I turn….I let go…cuz
Space and love equal letting go…
That’s the way I am – don’t think I ever look back
Cuz I am who I am…smiles, zen and all…
Don’t ever think you knew that…
Till now….

Anomaly of the Cliche’….

Crucifying my time to do what’s right
For what’s real -
The time – It somewhat accuses my variance
And the ability to fight

Flashing my tits as though I have something
To show
Racing in an ambulance of ambiguity
Rushing back and forth
And oh, how it moves so slow
The time -
For the second lifetime of
Geniality genius
Corrupts the motive behind
This venture
As the doctor reached through his words
Saw through the junkyard musician
And blunders
Of the anomaly and the precision

Seeping through the mirror – seeing
Somehow sought owned
And somehow caught undone
Just like the past and the reveal
And the motion(end)
That lies in between – the days and me
And (us)….

Clarity of words and shyness of the truth behind
The all and every cliché’ – breathing
Behind me
Refocusing on the focus swimming through my veins
Like I saw you..reaching in a blank state of wondering
Why I am here and you are there…and you are you.

Sleeping as I wake through this parade of courage -
The grapes bust open in my mouth and drip
Full-ness
As the juice slips down my lips
Like the way he called me the beloved
Anomaly of his day….. reaching for his senses
To say he misses…me and the way….

Enlisted in the future
Reverences of my holy,
my hells and this paranormal of a day.

Found…without…With(in)…With All.

A shell found thoughtless
Meaningless battles rendered meaning somehow
Short –comings breathing down the edge of my sanctuary
Maps of doorways burn down the mirror in your throat
Kissing the air
Flowing like the dog barking at the….
Moment of…
Jagged pendants swarm a silhouette daunting spirited-like men
Sorted and found me out –

The clouds paint me like the fly that bounces
Off passing movement and my local bar -
Some days don’t really feel like days at all
A mirrored belief that there was someone there
Instead of me

You see….

Illusions twisted through my diatribe found listless
Like my number -
It takes skill to find another way to say “No,
I’m not interested – find another….”
Because when I look around I see the future
And the so it may
Caught dancing blunders -
Simmering movement
Inside and out
And channeling my day
I found…..
I found without
Wonders…

See me….

Walking into the light basked shiny silver
Foundation
Of her found listless and why
Her body loved like her eyes saw
and, beauty entrenched the moments
and she cradles the fall
deep founded
meaningful and loving-full
of the woman
found…
Without
With(in)
With All.

Gasping…..

She screamed loudly “HEY!” and I woke gasping for air..I couldn’t breathe.
I sat up to realize there was no physical bodies around me, not even close.
Trying to place who the girl was, but went back to sleep…
I wake groggy, heart racing..trying to elude the freshness of reality
Out of a somewhat waking, while dreaming, moment….