Dear Chris…Cornell. My love. My Gratitude.

Posted in Jencerpts.. with tags , , , , on May 21, 2017 by JenJuice

Grief is loneliness at its primal level.

To think about my experience with Chris is pouring through my veins like lava. I keep seeing him. Hearing his voice and the tears coming out of my eyes feels like that Jesus Christ Pose I can’t deny.
Him. He was profound. His presence was massive. One of the most calm intensities I’ve experienced. It was the moment I became awake…meeting him.

I was a high school runaway..I left my house at 16 under a shitty living situation..I was working at a funeral home at the time..it’s relevant. Soon After…
I went to a club one night as I did..At #s I go to the ladies room and come out ratting out Kim Thayil for pissing in the girl’s room while I waited. He liked that, went and got Matt Cameron and they piled in my 81’ Ford Granada matted with my Soundgarden sticker on back. We all get in. the cassette in was Jane’s Addiction Triple X. And…we sparked up a big joint and got super baked discussing philosophies.
In turn..we became fast friends…Went on tour with them a stretch from Texas to Louisiana….it was fun. It was spiritual. It was the most honor and beautiful sensation to be graced with the person that has touched my soul so many times, so deep and so in my being…and to tell him. Much Love to that dear soul. May he be at peace.

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You are my Sun.

Posted in Jencerpts.. with tags , , , , , , on May 21, 2017 by JenJuice

The other me is on recess.
You, me and that tacky little dress you called…
Well, a mess.

Wrecking my mind riots in your circumference
Of you, me and the lost whodunit.

But, it was…

The wife and the hello matrimony amalgam.
The departure of the underlying truth.

Is simple geometry. Just fucking listen.

Connections.

Posted in Jencerpts.. with tags , , , on May 21, 2017 by JenJuice

When everything about suicide makes sense…..

I kind of love you.

Posted in Jencerpts.. with tags , , , , , on May 12, 2017 by JenJuice

The smell of weed penetrates the streets like a breath of fresh desire
How I became so alive – the moment I saw your eyes.
A slow weight of water drips down my jaw…my teardrops…only
Come for you.
And you…my love…is all I see.
And I can’t even see me.

And how does the other always know when I need him
When I want to just walk away…
He cradles me in his voice of lullabies of memories
Oh, how are you still in my life when you are just
A story line away from reality….
Is connectedness a myth…or do we just talk
Ourselves out of what we feel.

Build you. With him. With you. With all of….

Posted in Jencerpts.. with tags , , , , , on May 9, 2017 by JenJuice

Jen PoetryMy body looked sad..so I had to please her.
Not looking in the mirror has consequences.

My tits…my tits are pouring your name. Fondling my memories of you…
Between me and my—self.
You, my – in between all of this…..stuff….and you aren’t here physically, but…
You are so in my body, my mind, my soul….you are in me. Always.
Penetrate through me…from the realms so profound away…you, my love…are somehow always with me…in this finite equation…of us is never in between you and me. Love.

The land of Karmic Adventures…

Posted in Jencerpts.. with tags , , , , , , on January 31, 2017 by JenJuice

Digital Camera

The imperial vows taken by the sea…the oceans – I dive into your ocean…your blue eyes that
were my haven…I found peace.
Staring into the wooden swing dangling from a tree swooping over me…I sway….the air
feels like baby kisses all over my skin…and somehow it feels lathered in meaning.
After all, this isn’t America. This is the land of karmic adventures.

I miss you so much.

Posted in Jencerpts.. with tags , , , , , , on January 4, 2017 by JenJuice

No one can hear that heart-wrenching cry that only comes out when I think of you.
And how you aren’t here…and how are you not on this earth any more.
I know energy doesn’t die…but my heart did. When you did.