Archive for Death

I miss you so much.

Posted in Jencerpts.. with tags , , , , , , on January 4, 2017 by JenJuice

No one can hear that heart-wrenching cry that only comes out when I think of you.
And how you aren’t here…and how are you not on this earth any more.
I know energy doesn’t die…but my heart did. When you did.

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Death is a lesson we can’t deny.

Posted in Jencerpts.. with tags , , , , , on March 2, 2016 by JenJuice

Today, today I couldn’t reach the out of myself.
Crashed through the bed I found myself dead in.
Fiending the crave of drive.
What else is there?
This isn’t enough for me…I need more
I can’t make believe
That I pull my life out of my sickening fool.

Today, today I didn’t breathe through my darkness
But, the fight won’t go away
Not that far from me

Believe in the realm we can’t find and the sole survivor
Bleeding to death
Falling the passion of this heart
And not controlling any of it.
Just keep on swimming, I see.
I don’t know if the drowning will elude my smile
Grief has become a part of the life that is the lesson
We can’t run from.

Year of the Removal.

Posted in Jencerpts.. with tags , , , , , , on February 4, 2016 by JenJuice

It’s the beginning of the end…
The war path is severe with heavy
No one is getting out of this one….
It’s going to take the some strength
Some perseverance
Some holy energy
Some finding the hijackers of the mind
And killing them. After having a cup of tea.
Be aware of the daunting lines in between the space
You find
Awareness and the place
So eerie you don’t want to see (or feel)

Battle wounds….

Posted in Jencerpts.. with tags , , , , , on November 23, 2015 by JenJuice

Nothing worse than falling for the same smoke and mirrors that continuously inhabit your space….the endurance of the worst beckons my calling.
What to have and what not to hold. I find it a daunting rhetoric of solution
Fucking want to murder my emotions with a jackknife and feed
It to the spirits that gag me with them.

What’s it Like…..to Die.

Posted in Jencerpts.. with tags , , , , , , , , , , on September 22, 2015 by JenJuice

animeSo, what is grief like? What is that profound state of not understanding..
What’s it like to be fully aware and fully present in love with the one soulmate that
Took my breath and breathed it back into me…
And what is it like when he walks in front of a car that hits and murders him
And leaves him solemnly alone on the side of the road to die….what’s it like
You ask.
What’s it like to find life again after finding the truest form of love….die.
What’s it like to watch all your other friends and life move on…they go on having babies, getting married, being happy and having the run of the mill..this is what it’s supposed to be like life.
What’s it like to be not in this much profound pain.
What’s it like to feel again
What’s it like to love again
What’s it like to love and die at the same time.
What’s that like. Tell me.

Stemming Birth….to Death.

Posted in Jencerpts.. with tags , , , , , on July 19, 2015 by JenJuice

Giving birth to death
One felony at a time.
Breeching the dotted line
I thought I had to walk along
Like the movie I told myself
When you knew me….

Clenching to each note she whispers
To the birth of song in movement.
I find an ounce of reason to keep
Moving…through this life….
The long and daunting road.

I shallow backwards to see
Even the darker side
Of me….and how
This time is awkwardly the light.

The days…I found you.
I found me.

The Us-Ness

Posted in Jencerpts.. with tags , , , , on August 16, 2014 by JenJuice

I miss my baby.

I miss my baby.

You – in my eyes….the memories are a movie playing
In sobbing ways that loosen my grip to what have I
Knowing you are always with me
Always love within me
There is no separation
Longing for your arms around me
Has evolved to your spirit
That encapsulates my soul
The us – ness
I miss you so much, baby
And how I know that day – you
Set us both free..by giving
Us the eternal love that we always
knew was meant for the us-ness
Always was more than anyone understood
And still is…I love you my angel…
We will be together again in the next life.