Archive for grief

When She Speaks… Listen.

Posted in Jencerpts.. with tags , , , , , , on July 10, 2018 by JenJuice

Some days I’m so paralyzed in grief. The heavy fucking-hearted energy. Can’t breathe. My heart has a pain so profound I can’t even reach. Can barely move. Crying hysterically laughing and sobbing simultaneously. Write, I hear. Dance, I hear. So, I do.

Then I hear a Youtube commercial…”What you hongry fo….?”

My Universal voice is a black grandma, just like me.

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The forgetful….nature.

Posted in Jencerpts.. with tags , , , , , , on April 4, 2016 by JenJuice

When you don’t know which way to turn
Your grief isn’t shared, isn’t separate, isn’t one,
Isn’t the other
Which one….am I hurting for?

And what’s this..the energy
Of (trust) – the most dead,
Yet, most alive
I’ve ever felt.

The bottom drops
Like the dash on my headboard
Of time…
Synchronicity reminds me…
It ain’t nothing, but the life
I chose….

anxiety

Death is a lesson we can’t deny.

Posted in Jencerpts.. with tags , , , , , on March 2, 2016 by JenJuice

Today, today I couldn’t reach the out of myself.
Crashed through the bed I found myself dead in.
Fiending the crave of drive.
What else is there?
This isn’t enough for me…I need more
I can’t make believe
That I pull my life out of my sickening fool.

Today, today I didn’t breathe through my darkness
But, the fight won’t go away
Not that far from me

Believe in the realm we can’t find and the sole survivor
Bleeding to death
Falling the passion of this heart
And not controlling any of it.
Just keep on swimming, I see.
I don’t know if the drowning will elude my smile
Grief has become a part of the life that is the lesson
We can’t run from.