Archive for Hurt

What’s it Like…..to Die.

Posted in Jencerpts.. with tags , , , , , , , , , , on September 22, 2015 by JenJuice

animeSo, what is grief like? What is that profound state of not understanding..
What’s it like to be fully aware and fully present in love with the one soulmate that
Took my breath and breathed it back into me…
And what is it like when he walks in front of a car that hits and murders him
And leaves him solemnly alone on the side of the road to die….what’s it like
You ask.
What’s it like to find life again after finding the truest form of love….die.
What’s it like to watch all your other friends and life move on…they go on having babies, getting married, being happy and having the run of the mill..this is what it’s supposed to be like life.
What’s it like to be not in this much profound pain.
What’s it like to feel again
What’s it like to love again
What’s it like to love and die at the same time.
What’s that like. Tell me.

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Be-titled….

Posted in Jencerpts.. with tags , , , on October 10, 2013 by JenJuice

There she meets progress infamously parading itself
like it did when I was near by…you
surrendered…
to the beliefs I rendered
knowing the path has proven itself
and myself like a tantrum of calm
never had one arm hung
and one throat choked
Another swinging from a pole
I drive into the ground
like Jesus found a myriad of truth
A trickle of a whisper crawls down my thigh
Swimming in thoughts
some place between you and me…

Immortal transitioning….

Posted in Jencerpts.. with tags , , , on September 16, 2011 by JenJuice

being distant comes at a disadvantage of enormous suffering I never realized till now
shallow(ed) in a pavilion of lug weights of self-entitled lesser than(s) and immaculate traits
found the pangs of trying to hold on to
what was never meant to be in the first (or last) place
juggled a myriad of trials
and found the only true way
was truth in a way I never could admit
nor found a way to portray
till now…to tell…

Space between me….

Posted in Jencerpts.. with tags , , on April 5, 2011 by JenJuice

The space between spaces
Where I find my self laying
Looking down in between my breast
Cushioning the blow of nevertheless –
Retort of the blow
Followed by the smug reactions
I only see when I’m faced down from a fall
Caught myself lower than expected
But nevertheless still part of the body
I was placed in
Some may say that’s irrelevant to the cause
I still say, I’m bequesting that moment…

Panged…..

Posted in Jencerpts.. with tags , , on February 24, 2011 by JenJuice

When I feel, I feel nothing…and so much more
The moment and the place that I’m falling into
The pain that gives me
The moment of nothings
Pass me into the activity-less
Of my loss
And the views
Of how I got out in the first place…..

Nectar of the Moment…Passing.

Posted in Jencerpts.. with tags , , on October 13, 2010 by JenJuice

Droplets of my eyelids caress
the moment passed up
In an every moment time
That seems to last a lifetime
When you aren’t there
Knowing how I fucked up
Just when you disappear
And I become me again
Losing myself in the ruse
Of the situation
And the weight that I impend
With the scotch flights
I take some nights
Where all ends and some things try to begin –
Sipping on the nectar
Of how I know better
than to listen to emotion
when all it ever does is
make my bed of intention
a bit closer
and I can’t seem to find my way
in the moment that won’t listen….

Willingness….

Posted in Jencerpts.. with tags , , on October 13, 2010 by JenJuice

Some things are better left untouched
Even if that one touch means you embrace
Whatever it is that you feel
Even if it hurts so much

The more you live in a world
Of emotional distress
Rain will crash down and follow
Leaving nothing left to stick to
Littered and crushed emotions bellow
Like a sentiment from Woody Guthrie
I find myself almost dead

Remorse of that pregnant screwdriver
Banging against the walls in my head
The tunes wake me up
shattering my red blanket
Sifting through the memories of our bed
Shadow dancing
At the same moon
Finding all I need is
That love I am looking for
Ready and willing – I’ve said….